Entry# 1 – 5:00 am~5:59 am
Dear Diary,
Well, here it is, this is how the whole day started. Homer got himself in trouble and I stepped in. Sounds simple enough doesn’t it? I tried to tell myself that I did it because I was threatened but the truth is… the truth is that at that moment I wanted it.
Anyway, my days are usually very routine. I get up before everyone else so I can get Maggie ready for the day and make breakfast and lunches for Homer, Lisa, and Bart before they go off to work or school. Now, normally I wake up on my own without an alarm so that Homie can sleep in the last few minutes but today it was a loud banging on our door that had me jumping out of bed.
Homer is a real bear if he gets woken up early not to mention the all-day terror Maggie becomes. So, I ran downstairs to see who was making all the racket, and in my rush, I forgot to grab my robe… so I was wearing just my mostly sheer nightgown and a simple pair of white undies.
I flung the door open to see Snake, the local town thug looming in the doorway, both fists balled up and ready for a fight. I guess that is why I didn’t think to cover myself, actually, I’m shocked that I didn’t tinkle a bit at the sight. He is a very large and scary man.
“Where is he!?”, Snake demanded as he took a step inside. “Where’s Homer?”
I am not sure what came over me, a mother’s urge to defend her family or just my fear of having everyone’s day being ruined by being woken up early. Whatever it was, I stood my ground blocking his path and said, “Now wait just one darn minute Mr. Snake.” in as loud a whisper-shout as I could manage, “Now, I don’t know what my Homie could have done but it doesn’t give you the right to bang on my door at this hour!”
He grabbed me by the shoulders and lifted me up to his face, which had me a good 6 inches off the ground. “What did he do!? He puked in my car! And Lil’ Bandit II must be avenged!”
“Avenged? No! You will not hurt my Homie!” I gave him a hard kick to the shins, “Now put me down!” another few kicks to the shins followed.
“Ow Dude! Stop, crazy lady!” He lifted me up and threw me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and carried me into the dining room and through the kitchen. “Time to put you somewhere safe.”
“Put me down!”
I was so busy kicking and hitting him that at the time it didn’t occur to me how well he seemed to know the layout of my house.
He gave my bottom a very hard smack, “Stop struggling!” He carried me down the hall, and right into the garage. He dropped me roughly onto the hood of Homer’s car and took a step back but then just stood there, the malice draining from his face to be slowly replaced by the same look Homer gives one of my pork chops… licking his lips and breathing very heavily.
It took me a moment to realize what was going on but then it dawned on me that he was staring right between my legs! When he had dropped me on the hood of the car I had landed very unladylike and he could see my little white panties. Now, normally I would have screamed at him or at least crossed my legs but for some reason, I didn’t.
I guess it was the excitement and fear of the moment but I have to admit, it sent a very warm tingle through me.
“Hrm, baldy boy owes me.”
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